Billy shows off his Italian; ‘Below Deck’ hottie shows off everything
Big Mama Masters was recently talking to me about her favorite TV shows. “You know, Ellen’s wife is on Scandal.’” It took me a moment to realize she was talking about Portia de Rossi. Obviously I know Portia is married to Ellen DeGeneres, but I must confess I don’t immediately think of her as a wife — a failing on my part. A similar thing happened a month ago, when I reported about John Barrowman taking the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. I said that the ice was hoisted above him by someone I referred to as his hot jockstrap-clad boyfriend. A reader took issue with this: “Wow, how did [Barrowman’s] husband feel about that?” My response was a terse, boyfriend/husband, potato/potahto.”
Although I personally don’t put much weight on labels, I can see where my attitude is bit too blasé. Some people worked awfully hard for the right to certain labels.
Speaking of Ellen, a couple of weeks ago, a reader asked me about Ellen’s “gardener,” Nick, who she was trying to get cast in Magic Mike XXL. I told you that his name was Bill Reilich, told you where he came from and even posted quite a few nude photos of him. Last week, Ellen had Nick/Bill on the show to do some shirtless apple-picking. Just then, a phone call came in from Channing Tatum saying he was cast in the flick. Although you’ll get to see him on the big screen eventually, you’ll surely not see as much as you can of him right now on BillyMasters.com.
Bundled in with the Jennifer Lawrence hacking scandal is news that nude photos also exist of Nick Hogan. Admittedly, the market for these pics is much more limited, but it hasn’t stopped some outlets from referring to Nick as “the first male celebrity to be hacked for nude photos.” I take issue with the word celebrity, but let’s gloss over that. If you want to see the photos, I’ll post them on the website.
On the other hand, some people leak nude photos (and videos) for their own purposes. Take David Girton, who appeared on Big Brother last year. He was the hot surfer dude with long blond hair and a rockin’ bod. For unknown reasons, he’s been sending people nude photos of himself. But he didn’t stop there. He’s also leaked some videos where he can be seen pleasuring himself, and I must say, they are certainly pleasurable. Because I think it’s important to share pleasure, you can check ’em out on our website.
What’s the difference in a few words? Ask the Vatican. Last week, the Eleventh General Assembly of the Extraordinary Synod on the Family issued a report on the official Vatican website. The unofficial translation contained the following: “Homosexuals have gifts ands qualities to offer to the Christian community. Are we capable of welcoming these people, guaranteeing to them a fraternal space in our communities? Often they wish to encounter a Church that offers them a welcoming home. Are our communities capable of providing that, accepting and valuing their sexual orientation, without compromising Catholic doctrine on the family and matrimony?”
This translation has since changed. Specifically, the part about “welcoming these people” has been excised. Two explanations have been offered. First, the report was a “working document” and not an official statement. Second, the unofficial translation was inaccurate. As someone whose Italian is above average, I decided to look at the original. The phrase in question is, “Siamo in grado di accogliere queste persone.” The verb accogliere literally means “to accommodate, greet or receive in one’s house.” So while “welcome” is perhaps a loose translation, it is nonetheless accurate. And it does seem to echo Pope Francis’ response last year when asked his thoughts on the topic of homosexuality: “Who am I to judge?” Too bad the synod didn’t adopt the report in the final vote.
A German performance artist has announced a new project which is raising quite a few eyebrows. Mischa Badasyan’s project is entitled Save the Date. His artistic plan is to have anonymous sex with a different man in a semipublic place every day for a year. Why? Oh, it’s really confusing something about how public, sterile places make people feel more isolated. Therefore, by having sex with different people every day, his body will become a virtual place, like a bank … which accepts numerous deposits and withdrawals. He also says his project will promote safe sex and the use of condoms. So he’ll really be more like an ATM.
Three dancers who were dismissed from Cher’s Dressed to Kill Tour have filed a lawsuit against the superstar for wrongful termination, and have specifically accused her of racial discrimination. It started during casting when choreographer and dancer Kevin Wilson suggested that they hire someone described as “a minority female dancer.” Cher allegedly said, “We have too much color onstage” and directed Kevin to hire a blond Caucasian girl. Wilson further states that Cher instructed him “not to cast anymore dark-skinned black dancers on the tour.” Wilson did as he was told, but he and two others were fired, purportedly because of “budget cuts.”
Our Ask Billy question comes from Jasper in Kansas City: “I’m pissed at the changes on Below Deck— specifically, getting rid of David [who got engaged on the show to porn superstar Trevor Knight]. But Logan and Kelley are pretty hot. What can you tell me about them? Gay or straight? You must have some shirtless pics.”
Logan is the new guy who some people thought was gay, but he’s apparently straight. Far more interesting is Kelley Johnson, pictured, another deck hand who is hotter than hot. Imagine my surprise when I received a lead on some rather revealing photos of Kelley. And imagine my delight when I saw these photos were not only revealing, they full-frontal and explicit. And imagine the joy you’ll have when you check out the close to double-digit inches at BillyMasters.com.
When we’re giving new meaning to the phrase “all hands on deck,” it’s time to end another column. If you have a question you’d like me to tackle, send it along and I promise to get back to you before Ellen opens up a male strip club!
Until next time, remember: One man’s filth is another man’s bible.
Have a question for Billy? Email it to him at Billy@BillyMasters.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition October 24, 2014.